Xmas from Prunedale

Merry Christmas from all of us here at the Joe Livernois Column. It's that time of the year to chest some roastnuts, egg some sipnog, and join us for our annual sing-along:

O Little Salinas

O little town near Monterey
Your literacy's gone dry;
Above thy shallow, dreamless sleep
The silent bookshelves sigh.
Yet in thy dark streets shineth,
Embarrasment is huge;
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are dashed by voters -- Scrooged!

Where knowledge is true power,
And children gathered all --
Curmudgeons sleep, while misers keep
The city in a crawl.
O longing for the old days,
When learning, fundamental,
Was more important to us all
Than keeping taxes small.



I'll Build Homes for Christmas

I'll build homes for Christmas,
You can count on me!
Please have water
And suitable roads
And buyers right for me.

Christmas Eve will find me
Buying out the farmers!
I'll build homes for Christmas:
Custom little charmers.

Christmas Eve will find me
Promising the poor:
I'll build them homes for Christmas.
It worked for KB Homes.


Elrod, the Swift Boat Veteran

Elrod, the swift boat veteran
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would think he's Pinnochio.
All of the other veterans,
Used to laugh and make up stuff.
They ran ads about John Kerry,
Said he was a mere cream-puff.
Then one froggy Veterans Day,
Elrod came to say:
"People, I demand respect
"And if you don't you should defect."
All of America's pinkos
Shouted out and said, post haste,
"Elrod, you gasbag veteran,
You're nothing but a pantywaist."


Do You Greed What I Greed

Said the CEO to the Congressman
Do you see what I see?
Way up in the sky, Congressman
Do you see what I see?
A break, a break, greater than the poor's
With no burdens to stanch my greed,
No burdens to stanch my greed.

Said the Congressman to the CEO
Do you hear what I hear?
A mandate from the people, CEO
Do you hear what I hear?
Blank check, blank check, voters support me
And tax breaks for the well-to-do,
Tax breaks for the well-to-do.